


Familiar Patterns

by SilverServerError



Series: Elf Practice [3]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Identity Issues, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 22:49:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12757740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverServerError/pseuds/SilverServerError
Summary: Taako gets embarrassed. Brad doesn’t get laid. It could be worse.





	Familiar Patterns

**Author's Note:**

> This got more real talk than I meant for it to. Idk? Please proceed with caution and let me know if you have an idea for a better way to tag this.

 

Brad fidgeted softly with the seal on the bottle, suddenly getting butterflies now that he was at the elf’s door. It was rude to show up empty handed after all, right? And while digging through the reports that said Magnus and Merle were assigned to training elsewhere at the moment, he’d also found the Camp Goodfriend ice breaker activity Taako had half filled out before getting bored. Most of the answers were sarcastic or vulgar, but he had a feeling the ridiculously expensive brand of Hypnotic Pattern laced alcohol might be something that actually helped him ‘relax after a long day’.

He took a breath and knocked at the door, half hoping Taako might be out.

Of course digging through Taako’s file like that outside of a need to know work situation was a massive breach of his professional duties. He’d written himself up and filed the report. He’d have a very serious talk with himself later about employee privacy.

There was some muffled noise from inside the room.

“Taako?”

The door opened, and Brad felt his heart skip.

Taako was always put together. (Except when Brad was taking him apart, he thought with an aroused little shiver of pride.) But even for Taako this was…

He looked _good_.

Short skirt and wide leather belt. Dangerous looking heels and stockings held up by a ribbon-adorned clasp that must have run up to a garter belt somewhere underneath. Deep cut shirt and meticulously woven hair. Brad’s gaze caught on plump, cherry lips and eyeliner sharp enough he had to fight the urge to take a step back.

But… oh.

Taako was this dressed up. But not for him.

He slipped the bottle subtly behind his back.

Taako never dressed up like this for him. Theirs was more of an after training, plain shirt and work boots, ‘tell anyone and you’re finished, Bradson’ affair.

“Sorry,” Brad said with a polite smile, even if it made his chest ache. “I didn’t realize you had plans for the night.”

“Hey what’s there to apologize for? Mi shitty dorm es Su shitty dorm, am I right? Come on in. You want anything? I can get you a soda.”

Brad blinked at him. The strange, hyper friendly, tone deaf conversation was something he’d never expect out of such a sleek, sexy visual. He took a step inside, more out of shock than anything else. “Taako, are you oka-”

“Ah nice! You brought a cold one. Should we break that puppy open? Let me go find a bottle opener.”

He glanced down. “It's a cork but-” He followed a few steps, much too confused and concerned to appreciate the admittedly breathtaking view of Taako’s ass it gave him. Such a shame. “Taako, not that it’s any of my business, but are you hi-”

Brad froze as a second Taako, absolutely identical but dressed completely different in ripped jeans and a crop top smiled at him from where he lounged at the kitchen table. “Howdy, Stranger! You come to visit? What do you have there? Did you have a nice walk over? Weather’s been crazy lately, am I right? No clouds on the moon I guess. Hey, can I get you anything? You want a soda?”

“No, I…”

A third Taako brushed into the room, beautiful as always, but Brad couldn’t help but notice the mismatched shoes and flirty summer dress that looked… off somehow.

“You guys got soda in here? I’d love a soda!”

Brad stared, hovering in the doorway as their manic conversation started to loop.

“Hell yeah! Soda time, baby! You got any soda?”

“Soda? I love soda! You got any soda?”

“Soda? I love soda! You got any-”

There was a shriek from behind as Brad turned just fast enough to glimpse a shocked Taako. He was in boxers and an oversized t-shirt that hung off one shoulder and a low messy bun was tied into unruly hair. Brad watched with a wince as Taako threw his armful of things up into the air and retreated, bare feet making a soft noise on the floor. All three of the strange Taakos came to join him in the doorway, watching curiously but crowding him against the already tight wooden frame.

Brad just watched in silence, trying to process the situation. Suddenly ripped jeans Taako blinked and a furious blush burned across his face. “You can’t just sneak in people’s houses, Brad!”

Brad opened his mouth to apologize, but that Taako was already pulling mismatched shoe Taako back towards his bedroom. He tried to follow to explain himself, but as soon as the door closed behind him, scary eyeliner Taako caught his wrist with surprising, well… not strength, but intensity, and held him back.

“Taako?” he said hesitantly, just now putting the clues together. “Mislead isn’t on your spell list.”

“And it better not be by Monday. If you snitch I swear to gods- How did you even get in?! Our shit is warded.”

Brad pulled his wrist free and did his best to look smaller and non-threatening. He had a lot of practice, but even so. “I’m sorry, Taako,” he shrugged and fixed his glasses, “but you let me in. Or, one of you did.”

Taako’s ears flicked down and his mouth was a soft ‘o’ of realization. (Really it was just… unfair how good his lips looked like this.) Then Taako groaned and a look of annoyed disgust crossed his face.

“Really Taako, I never would have come in if-”

But Taako cut him off with a hand. Brad could see the anger draining away, and did his best to politely ignore the embarrassment.

“Nah, it’s cool. I get it.”

“Should I go?”

Taako sighed. “Why? Damage has already been done, right?”

Brad smiled a little ruefully. “Taako, if it makes you feel any better, I think you’re just as cute even if you’ve got bed head or your shoes don’t match.”

He’d been expecting maybe a blush and a talk about self esteem. He wasn’t expecting the anger and warning finger raised.

“Hey, Brad?” His voice was sharp.

Ah, fuck. “Yes?”

“ _Super_ not the time, okay?”

“Of course. Apologies.” Brad nodded, feeling awkward, then hesitantly help out the bottle. “I uh… I brought…?”

Taako held out a hand to take it, then begrudgingly accepted, placing it on the coffee table for later.

“I mean it, Taako. I didn’t mean to-”

“Dude, it’s cool.” Taako frowned and turned away, looking at the mess on the floor with a resigned sort of sigh, before bending down to start collecting buttons and ribbons and spools of thread.  
  
Brad’s eyes widened slightly as it gave him what might well be a once in his lifetime view of a dressed-to-seduce Takko on his knees. Brad's body, already primed by an afternoon full of hopeful fantasies, was quick to start reacting, but he swallowed and forced his eyes away as Taako's skirt rode up tantalizingly high, but not quite high enough to find out what he was (or wasn’t) wearing underneath.

But it was for the best.

Really, that was the last thing he needed to be thinking about right now. Taako had been painfully frank from the beginning what thin ice their whole arrangement was built on.

(“Listen, Tall, Dark and Ribbled, your dick might be enough to make a neophyte swoon, but I’ve known Enlarge since I was old enough to know what to do with it, so you can get that cocky grin right off your face.”)

He bent down and started helping pick up with the distinct impression that if he didn’t handle this right, he’d never handle _Taako_ again, at all.

“You don’t need to… Please, let me pick up. It’s my fault I surprised you anyway.”

Taako gave his first actual smile of the night, even if it looked a little put upon. “Don’t be ridiculous. You’re already struggling.”

He was right. The shears and spools were fine, but the buttons were tricky with how big his fingers were. The needles were completely out of the question.

“I just feel bad. You should be careful with this many needles on the floor and just stockings on your knees. What if you get pricked?”

“No worries, homie. Can’t feel in this body anyway.”

“Really?” Brad paused to look at him curiously.

“Yeah, check it.” Taako took a straight pin and stabbed the back of his other hand.

Brad started to lean in to reflexively try and stop him, but watched as the body poofed out of existence, leaving the sound of a pin drop and a comically empty set of clothing to settle gently to the floor.

“Taako…?”

The bedroom door opened again, and ripped jeans Taako entered casually, like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He sat down, moving much more comfortably in the new outfit as he started to fold up the old one. “They dispel if I take any damage.”

Brad nodded. “Do you… Using such high spell slots to tailor your clothes?” he broached delicately, “Is that a normal thing for you?”

“Yes,” Taako said firmly, eyes narrowing in defiance and challenge.

Brad’s gaze slipped away, making the conscious choice to let it go. “I didn’t know you could sew.”

Taako relaxed and Brad let out a tiny sigh of relief.

“Yeah, well,” He shrugged, spooling a ribbon around the fingers of one hand. “Who else am I going to trust to keep me looking this good?”

Brad reached over, offering a handful of hard-won buttons like an olive branch. “That’s impressive.”

Taako shrugged and smiled sweetly, taking the buttons and putting them back in their dish. Even now, at times like this, Brad thought he had the cutest reactions to praise. “I mean, once you can tie a fly, fixing a seam ain’t no thing.”

“Tie a…?”

Takko waved a hand dismissively. “Fishing stuff. Don’t worry about it.”

“You fish?”

“Just a hobby.”

Brad laughed to himself softly. It was such a different answer than the ‘sucking gnome dick’ he’d listed on his sheet at Camp Goodfriend.

“Hey, Brad.”

“Yes?”

“Watch this.”

Brad smiled, that conflicted feeling of excitement, and dread of the paper work that usually followed when he heard things like that.

But all Taako did was murmur a command to his bracer, then sweep it slowly across the floor in front of him. The loose pins jumped to the bracer as if it were magnetized, picking up the last of the mess and leaving them both chuckling as it made his forearm into something like a cactus. At least until Taako gathered them carefully into a small handful and whispered the command to release them.

“Smart,” Brad smiled, accepting the little pile of clothes and notions as Taako started handing them over.

“Yeah,” he said with a shrug and very false modesty. “I’m pretty sure I invented that. It’s genius. No big deal.”

Taako shifted, and reached out for Brad’s shoulder to push himself back up to his feet. As he did so both their eyes widened a little bit as they felt the small, but undeniable attraction between Taako’s bracer and the ring through Brad’s nipple. There was a moment of silent indecision, in which Brad dare not say anything. At last Taako decided to ignore it, continuing the motion until he was on his feet, and reached out to accept his supplies once more.

“Sorry, it takes a second to lose the full charge. I guess I should…” he glanced down at his things. “Work to do, right?”

“Yes, don’t mind me.”

Taako watched him as Brad got up, but kept staring a little pointedly.

Brad hesitated, trying to figure it out until… “What?”

“I’m waiting for you to leave, Bradson.”

“Oh! Are you sure-?”

“The lighting in my room is shit and what are you even doing in my apartment anyway?”

Brad started backing up, certainly not begrudging Taako his privacy but…

“Taako?”

“I’m serious, Bradson, I’m not fucking you tonight.”

“No, I know. I know.” Takko seemed to relax the slightest bit, but still watched a little suspiciously. “I just… I just wanted you to know I wouldn’t mind.”

“Fucking me?” Taako asked, confused and unimpressed. “Yeah, that’s been pretty clear since the-”

“No! I mean, yes, but… no. I mean seeing you, as you are. Without the clothes and the makeup and the charms.” He gestured vaguely to the bedroom where boxers and bedhead Taako was presumably still hiding with mismatched shoe Taako. “It’s okay to let your real self-”

Taako cut him off with a hand to his chest and a warning look in his eye. Brad fell silent instantly. “Brad,” he said, deadly serious. “If I tell you this is the real me, with the hair and the shoes and the clothes, then this is the real me. If you’ve got some Orcish identity issues you’re still trying to square away, those are yours. Not mine.”

Brad frowned, not expecting the scalpel precision jab to something so tender. “That’s not what I meant.”

Taako’s eyes narrowed and his ears flared subtly. “Isn’t it though?”

Brad slowly pushed the hand away from his chest, and Taako let him shift so they were holding hands. “I can tell I’ve offended you,” he said slowly and carefully, feeling his body on edge and angry, but not letting it cloud his mind. What Taako had said was out of line, but if he couldn’t keep his cool over a comment like that then... Well, then he was in the wrong line of work. “I’m sorry for that.”

Taako eased off too, glancing away and rubbing Brad’s broad wrist with his other hand in slow, calming circles. “It’s alright,” he said quietly. “Sorry to… sorry.” He gave him a reassuring little squeeze.

Brad slowly started to bring Taako closer, giving him every chance to pull away, but gathering him into a hug when he didn’t. He kissed him gently on top of the head. “I just meant ‘real’ like… Is this the version that disappears if it gets hurt?”

Taako barked a little laugh, but turned his head to smile up at him ruefully. Both hands reached up to hold Brad’s neck, thumbs toying with his jaw. “That’s every version, doofus.”

Brad smiled bittersweetly, his chest squeezing in that awful, familiar way. This didn't feel right. They were supposed to be casual. They shouldn't even care enough about each other to fight in the first place. “Taako, may I-?”

And Taako answered by pushing up on tiptoes to kiss him first.

Brad let his hands wrap around his back, closing his eyes and not taking a moment for granted. Taako had warned him not to let this get messy, but it was getting harder every time.

When at last he had to pull away, Taako pushed at his chest with a gentle finality.   
  
"You alright?" Brad asked softly. 

"Yeah." 

"And I'll see you...?" He couldn't shake the gnawing anxiety. 

Taako finally glanced up at him, hand holding his with a gentleness that belayed his rolling eyes. "Stop looking at me like that. I'll stop by tomorrow, okay?" 

"Yeah?"

Taako made a face, but pulled him down for a chaste little kiss. "Promise." 

 


End file.
